


I may not have a brain but I've got you.

by 50shadesoflauren



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A VERY NICE ONE., Alternate Universe - College/University, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Sex, Angst, Basically a oneshot of Larry and some antic, Bondage, Daddy Kink, Fluff, I wrote this because I am very lonely, M/M, Open Ending, Pining, Rimming, Smut, Student!Louis, although there will be a happy sequel, artist!zayn, but its there, fluffy love, i just need to write it., rich!Harry, so slight, there IS a plot, uni - Freeform, very light, with a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-26 13:33:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2653850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50shadesoflauren/pseuds/50shadesoflauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis gets boyfriends at the beginning of February and uses them for Valentines day things, then breaks up with them at the end of February and Harry knows he's being used but hopes maybe he won't be discarded in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I may not have a brain but I've got you.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no romantic life and I write horrible smut im so sorry.

“Zaaaayn!” Louis called as he walked down the hall to his mate’s room in their dorm apartment, which they shared with one other boy who was notorious for bringing back a different girl every night and the boys had to turn up their music/TV/voices to drown out the moans of “Oh my god it’s sooooo biiiig” and “HARDER” “DEEPER” and one night, their personal favorite, “JUST SHOVE IT IN I DON’T CARE IF IT’S TOO BIG ILL RIP A BIT.”

That last one was so far fetched, they were pretty sure it was acted.

 

“Yes, Lou?” Zayn asked calmly as his bedroom door was shoved open and Louis was hit with the whiff of acrylic paint and drying gloss varnish.

 

“It’s February 1st.” Louis sat on the bed, the one place not covered in paint or canvases.

 

“You’re adamant about this tradition, aren’t you?” Zayn placed down the pallette of royal blue and sea foam green already mixed with a knife poised to place on the canvas sitting on the easel in front of him.

 

“I’ve gotten very nice gifts, it’s like a one time sugar daddy and I only have to put out a few times.”

 

“Alright what time are we leaving tonight? Do I even have time to start on the water in this one?” He nodded to the submerged legs of a dancer in a lake.

 

“No. The posh and single ones always go out around 10 and are back by 1.” Louis was already dressed and it was 9:34.

 

“Good thing I showered this morning, let me wrap this palette and put on a different shirt and a jacket and my shoes, alright, arsehole?” Zayn listed the things he needed to do and Louis audibly groaned.

 

“I’m going to end up with an ugly one.” He got up from the bed, “Let me know when you’re ready I’ll be doing squats to make my butt extra plump tonight.”

 

“First of all, can you even do squats in those?” Zayn motioned to the skinny jeans Louis’ legs were wrapped in.

 

“You’d be surprised what I can do in these.” He winked and walked away as Zayn began speaking again.

 

“You can’t gain muscle mass within 30 minutes of doing sq--fuck it you’re not listening I hope you get stuck with an ugly one.” He set about putting away his paints and wrapping the palette in saran wrap to preserve it.

 

As he was slipping on some boots, Louis’ small hands rapped on the door, “Are you ready?”

 

“Fucking hell you shithead, let’s go.” Zayn opened his door to follow the idiot in almost all black out of their dorm apartment and to the nicest club in town that costs 50$ to even get in the door unless you’re a twink or cute girl. Zayn knew the bouncer so, thankfully he didn’t have to be a twink or crossdress again.

 

After Liam had seen through the tight pants and brightly colored shirt, he let Zayn in with Louis the Twink, regardless of the pathetic clothes he was wearing and they were good friends after that. Painfully straight, but a nice guy.

 

“Hey boys.” Liam nodded at the duo when they showed up and Louis winked, “You know, Louis, I can just buy you a giant chocolate bar if you’d rather stay celibate this February.”

 

Louis chortled with hilarity as Liam unhooked the velvet rope for the boys. “I’m 75% in it for the sex and showers of gifts. Not a chocolate bar, my dear.”

 

“He’s a gold-digger, always will be.” Zayn shrugged as he passed through the doorway, “At least in February.”

 

Louis was already integrated into the club while Zayn chatted with Liam. He was useless at this point, anyways. Men didn’t go up to a guy if he had somebody with him. “Hey Jamie!” He called to the bartender.

 

“Lou! It’s your lucky night, my friend. Some bloke’s 21st smasher and made a special request to send up a bunch of people with large asses and no morals.” The blonde nodded to the stairs, “Tell them I sent you up.”

 

“I love you. Let me get a Bourbon first.” Louis asked and was poured a shot.

 

“Alright get your arse up there and I’ll keep an eye out for Rolexes and big hands attached.”

 

Louis ventured through the crowd and up the velvet hallways at the top of the stairs to the balcony and it was louder than downstairs with a lot of drunken men stumbling around with two-cent whores. The birthday boy had a large crown on and looked so embarrassed to be surrounded by the strippers and just the whole atmosphere and this kid was going to be a cinch.

 

“Alright, love?” He had sidled up to the kid’s side and it wasn’t hard. Everyone was smashed, only 11 something.

 

The guy looked up and saw Louis standing angled at his right, in front of the ‘birthday throne.’ He had bloodshot eyes, obviously wasted but not acting like it. They were covered by bits of hair fallen from his pony tail and Louis felt like a god the way the he looked at him, “Who are you?”

 

“Jamie sent me up, the bartender?” Louis took a swig of his drink; he had perfected this game after the 4th time he did it, 6th form.

 

“Ah, I don’t mean to be rude but my friends, the horny bloody twats they are, organized this whole thing for my birthday and drunk broads have been parading around since 9.” He had a deep voiced, scratchy probably from the copious amounts of alcohol he had intaken.

 

“So I should leave?” The kid was too sweet to turn Louis away and his shirt said Burberry and the scarf around his neck screamed Hermes. He was definitely bagging this one.

 

“Oh, no! I was apologizing for any impression of arseness from whatever made you come up here.” He was composed but slurring his words. Must have Irish in him, the kid could hold his alcohol, despite the red chest he bared.

 

“I was told I was going to be paid for sexual favors.” The look on he kid’s face was perfect.

 

“I’m so sorry if you were expecting  to--I can just pay you, no need to fuck anybody, especially these bastards.” He was pulling out his wallet and Louis couldn’t let the birthday boy pay him.

 

“I was joking!” He patted his shoulder and took another sip before continuing. “I’m friends with the bartender. Just here for the free drinks, mate.”

 

“Oh, alright.” He put away the very large wallet that had enough cards to melt down and make a dildo.

 

“So you’re not a fan of this type of thing?” Louis was so lucky.

 

“Nah, I’m more than often not in the library or a coffee shop on Friday nights.”

 

“Ah, hard classes?”

 

“No, I like to read and there’s the comfiest couch there.”

 

“What is your name, love?”

 

“Harry Edward Styles. And you?” He held out his hand and Louis took it and shook firmly.

 

“Louis Tomlinson.” He smiled so big at the size of Harry’s hands.

 

“No middle name?”

 

“It’s William but that doesn’t matter. Are you drunk?” Louis was beginning to question the validity of the bloodshot eyes and reddened chest.

 

“No. I don’t want to drink around these idiots. None of them even designated a driver. Every last one of them is wasted and two of them just got new cars.” Harry crossed his arms and leaned back, “I’m so done.”

 

“You gonna leave them?” Louis took a seat next to the him.

 

“If another tit falls out, I’m off to the library on campus. 24/7 open.” Harry explained, surveying the crowd for his excuse to leave.

 

“Want some company? I’m kinda just here for the socialization myself.” The socialization of men.

 

“I’m looking for the revealed breast before I leave.” Harry scanned the crowd in time to see another man take off his shirt, “Close enough.”

 

“Shall we?” Louis held out his arm.

 

“We shall.” Harry nodded, not taking his arm, but rising and leading the way to the stairs.

 

Once they had gotten outside, Zayn was still chatting with Liam and just nodded briefly at Louis as he admired his new boy. “Do you want to take a cab or walk?” Louis asked once they had gotten to the curb with their coats on.

 

“I brought my car.” He nodded across the street to a nice Audi, Louis didn’t know exactly what model it was in the dark, but he liked it a lot.

 

“Alrighty, Mr. Styles.” Louis followed.

 

Harry stopped him when he walked around to the other side and was about to open the door. “I’ll get it!” Proceeding to walk around to the other side of the car, opening the door and suddenly Louis felt a tiny bit of regret for picking such a sweet guy to use.

 

“Nice ride.” Was all he could muster once Harry had shut his door and gotten into his own seat.

 

“Eh, I would’ve been fine with a Fiat or something but my mom and dad got it for me for a Christmas present, and refused to let me take it back for something less ostentatious. I feel like a rich brat driving this thing, but they were sincere and I couldn’t just wreck an 80k car because I’m selfish? Not selfish but ungrateful? I don’t know but it has a working transmission and wheels so I can’t complain.” Harry rambled.

 

Louis realized how hard it was going to be to use him. Best to just feign an illness or something. He began coughing, which wasn’t hard, he’s congested from the cold weather. “I think I’m coming down with something.” Subtle. Yep. Harry couldn’t suspect a thing.

 

“Do you want me to take you home instead?” Harry began to slow at the red light he had come to.

 

“Nah, I’m fine. They’ve got a tea kiosk at the library, right?” He began to sniffle a bit.

 

“It’s been closed for--” He looked at the clock on his dashboard, “2 hours. I can stop at Starbucks or someplace.”

 

“It’s 12:38. Doubt anyplace is open that sells good tea. If you wouldn’t mind just taking me home? Sorry to like, be rude I guess? Talking to you for like 30 minutes, then kinda leaving?” Louis coughed again.

 

“My house is right around the corner. I promise I’m not making sexual advances but do you wanna come back to mine for a proper cuppa before you go back to your…”

 

“Dorm.”

 

“Before you go back to your dorm. I’ve got Yorkshire.” Harry persuaded.

 

Louis needed to get out of the car soon. “I’m sorry, but it’s later than I thought anyways. Rain cheque?” That he wouldn’t cash. He’s greedy but he’s not going to hurt this kid.

 

“Yeah, sure. Where do you live?” Harry drove towards the campus.

 

“Smithings.” Louis recited the name of his dorm building and felt so bad.

 

“Okay.” Harry didn’t say anything else the entire ride, nor did Louis.

 

Once they had arrived, Louis began to get out of the car, “Thanks for the--” Cough. “--ride.”

 

“No problem. Here, text me when you feel better.” Harry pulled a business card out of his wallet with all of the digits typed out with periods in between, his name in cursive script on the back.

 

“Fancy.” Louis couldn’t resist the teasing.

 

“Comes in handy for networking.” Harry shrugged and Louis got out of the car, closed the door.

 

“Bye!” Louis called as he walked up the deserted steps.

 

“Well, well, well.” Zayn’s smug voice woke Louis up that Sunday at 8:56 am.

 

“Too fucking early, Malik.” Louis croaked out his disgruntled feelings, muffled against the pillow he was clutching.

 

“You didn’t fuck him on the first night?”

 

“We need to go to that club again tonight. I’ve got to find a new one.”

 

“You broke him?”

 

“No I didn’t break the poor boy. He’s too sweet and I’m not about to use the kid. Barely 21.” Louis flopped the covers off his body and turned to look at the man.

 

“Well, well, well,” Zayn craned his neck and it popped before he continued his words, “Louis Tomlinson feels bad about using some boy?”

 

“You’re like a creepy Marvel villain, ‘Well, well, well, looks like your big bad Captain America can’t save you now.’” Louis lay back in bed with his arm covering his eyes.

 

“Very certain that is not a line from any movie. Back to the matter at hand, though. Why don’t you wanna go out with Mr. 6 foot tall and giant hands?”

 

“I already told you, he’s too sweet.” Louis coughed, actually congested and not sick. He felt horrible for lying.

 

“That’s never stopped you before. Max, Hansen, and Aiden all can attest to that.”

 

“Yeah but this kid spends his Fridays in the library because he likes to read and offered to take me home for a cuppa when I was faking being sick. None of those boys were actually sweet. Just polite.”

 

“Lou, maybe you should stop the game and ask him out for a possible real relationship?”

 

“I don’t like nice guys. You know he won’t have rough sex with me without apologizing every two minutes.”

 

“Your problem is the fact he won’t have rough sex with you and actually care about how you feel? That is the only flaw you can find? You don’t like rough sex that much. I’ve heard you complaining about that through the very thin walls.”

 

“I don’t want to, alright?” Louis snapped a bit harsher than necessary and Zayn didn’t bother going further. He knew Louis’ reasons.

 

“How about breakfast? We can go for a cuppa or I’ll attempt to cook?”

 

“I’m fine, but a cuppa sounds nice.” Louis nodded and began getting dressed.

 

They went down to the Cafe half a kilometer from their dorm building. Zayn had gone there so many times to pick up breakfast for Louis, the staff knew him by now. “Good morning, Zayn. What can I do for you this morning?” Perrie was cheery for 10:01 am.

 

“I brought my friend, Louis down for some Yorkshire Earl Grey.” He patted Louis’ back and Louis smiled and greeted her with a smile.

 

“I’ll fix ya right up. Anything else?” She was punching things into the cash register.

 

“Yeah, a Chocolate Croissant and hazelnut latte.” Zayn waited for the total and Louis got his wallet out to pay but he got it before Louis could.

 

“Wish you’d let me pay I feel like your sugar baby.” Louis badgered as they took a seat at the window.

 

“Please, I just sold a painting for 700 quid.” Zayn brushed it off with a cock of the head, eyes fixed on the coffee bar where the man he knew as Niall was making his and Louis’ drinks.

 

“So you’re interested in the barista?” Louis followed Zayn’s line of sight.

 

“Yeah I guess. Dunno if he’s into guys or not, though. Showing off the right signs, though.”

 

“Gonna just play it down and see how it turns out?”

 

“Yeah you know me so well. I’m trying to focus on my art and coursework but if things happen they happen.” Zayn nodded as Niall began coming over with the drinks and croissant. “You’re just gonna drop the guy from last night, though?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll go back out tonight and find somebody else.” Louis hushed himself as Niall set the drinks down at the table, “Thank you.”

 

“You’re very welcome.” Niall nodded to Zayn, “No sketchbook today?”

 

“Nah, Lou struck out last night so I brought him here for a tea and chat.” Zayn shared with a glare from Louis, “How’s the morning going?”

 

Niall wiped his hands on the half apron on his waist, “Pretty good for a Saturday. No fights breaking out over footie or the likes. Mostly hungover Uni students with a need for The Cure.” Louis looked at him weird, “Our hangover breakfast, a hash of potatoes, onions, cheese, bacon, and peppers.”

 

“Nice.” Louis nodded.

 

“Alright I gotta get back to the counter, Holler if ya need anything.” Niall smiled to Zayn then to Louis, “Good to meet ya. I’m Niall, by the way.” He pointed to his name tag and then went back to the counter.

 

“He’s possibly interested.” Louis said after a giant gulp of tea.

 

“I thought so, but he’s just friendly to everyone.”

 

“He’s cute, though.”

 

“We will see. I occasionally sketch him instead of the magazine clippings I usually do.”

 

“Makes an interesting sketch, I bet.” Louis nodded, remembering when Zayn would draw him if he ever got artistically challenged for a moment.

 

“Yeah, usually I’ll go abstract and put him in a teacup or make his hair fire, you know.” He took a sip of his coffee before continuing. “He’s easy to draw, unlike you.”

 

“Is that a compliment?”

 

“Yes. You’ve got intricacies I could never hit on, while Niall’s face is soft and delicate, my favorite.”

 

“Well I’m glad you’ve got a different muse, Z.” He relaxed back into the booth, “I was getting tired of being your French girl.”

 

“You never even posed naked for me, hush you twat.” He mumbled with a weak kick to Louis’ shin.

 

“Because you’d be blinded by the sheer beauty of my arse.”

 

“I resent that… I’ve seen your bare ass because you always seem to forget a towel WHEN YOU’RE COMING OUT OF THE SHOWER.” Zayn emphasized the last bit, due to Louis’ sport of running naked from the bathroom to his room, which was almost a weekly ritual.

 

“You love it.”

 

“I do.” He joked, “But honestly it would be nice if you grabbed a towel from the pile in your closet.”

 

“Duly noted. We can still go out tonight to get me a sugar daddy for valentines day?” Louis downed his tea and set the empty mug before looking to Zayn for a reply.

 

“Yeah, sure. Same place or should we patrol the luxury apartments near the art center with a sign: ‘Needs sugar daddy’?”

 

“Same as last time, no matter how tempting the latter sounds.”

 

“Another cup?” Niall strolled by to take Louis’ empty teacup.

 

“Nah I’m fine. Gotta leave and go back to my dorm to cry over my coursework.” Louis said and Niall nodded, taking the ceramic-ware. The boys talked for about 10 more minutes about various things, mostly Louis’ daddy issues and Zayn’s inability to be straightforward about asking Niall out.

 

**********************

 

Louis was browsing in a thrift shop for some more jumpers because after his unsuccessful night, he blacked out and apparently projectile vomited all over his favorites in the closet and they were beyond salvageable.

 

So far, he had found a soft gray heathered one, and a burgundy cableknit. Then his face matched the second when he saw Harry at the graphic t-shirt section about 3 metres over. He was unaware that he could move as fast as he did when he dropped to the floor, seeking refuge in the shadows of the long rack of woolens; certainly not religious but he was praying that Harry was not going to come over here.

 

“Louis, is it?” And there it is. The slow and deep voice was soft as he pretended to pick up the gray jumper.

 

“Harry! How are you?” He smiled brightly and breathed in.

 

“Pretty good, just doing some shopping, you know, because they sell clothes here.” He was adorable and his nose was red, obviously from being outside.

 

“I heard that.” Louis nodded slowly, looking down to the two jumpers draped over his arm. “And it appears I’ve found some. Amazing.”

 

“Yeah, I got a few flannels.” Harry nodded, a lull beginning in the barely started conversation, “How are you feeling? Better than Saturday, I assume?”

 

Yep. There it is. Louis feels horrible and does the unthinkable, “Much better! Just got out of class, Science building is right here and I ruined my preferred jumpers so I decided to stop in. Was thinking about sending you a text, actually.”   
  


Harry knew he was lying but he let it slide, “How did you ruin them?” Subtle. Very subtle, Styles. He doesn’t have a clue they you really wanna pick him up and cuddle him because he’s got this beanie on and scruff and a navy blue scarf and--

 

“--too acrid to keep, I didn’t even want to try and save them.” Louis was debating his next statement but decided because of his strikeout last night, he was going to fuck all and be the bad guy, “What are you up to, though?”

 

“Just widening my library and drinking my weight in coffee.”   
  


“Oh! You had a kilo of coffee?” Louis joked and shifted his weight.

 

“No. I’ve not drank quite that much. And I weigh 2 kilos.” Harry frowned jokingly, “Maybe you’d wanna join me in my coffee conquest? The day is young and I’ve only got 5 more cups to go.”

 

No. “Sure! Let me just purchase my items… You going to buy those?” Louis hated himself and pointed to the shirts in Harry’s arms.

 

“Yeah, let go to the front. Stealing is frowned upon in this establishment.” Harry joked as he nodded to the front and Louis led the way, only a step ahead of him.

 

“I don’t think you have a need to steal, or the stones to.” Louis chuckled to himself as he arrived behind a woman and her son in line.

 

“You’re right, but I’ve got stones, just not when it comes to taking from local businesses for the thrill.” Harry was blatant. This was a family-run store and he would sooner go broke then steal hard-earned money from their wallets.

 

“I was kidding, chill.” Louis whispered his words with a smirk and was angry because this boy was too sweet he was going to ruin him.

 

“I know, sorry. Just very passionate about doing the right thing.” Harry apologized and moved a bit ahead of Louis when it was their turn.

 

“Always a good thing to be passionate about.” Louis nodded and placed his jumpers down once Harry had paid for his own.

 

“Thirteen fifty-nine.” The girl behind the counter replied as she rung him up and Harry was handing her his card.

 

“No, you’re not paying for me, I can pay for myself.” Louis stopped him because that would only make him feel worse.

 

“Trust me, I can afford it, Louis.” He nodded for the girl to proceed with the transaction and Louis gave a heavy sigh.

 

“I’ll pay you back; I don’t like oweing people.” Louis told him once they were outside, breaking the silence.

 

“You don’t owe me anything. Honestly I owe you. After I bought these, I was gonna go home and binge-eat and either watch Netflix or spend the rest of my day in the bookstore.”

 

“No, I owe you.” Louis placed his hand up when Harry began to object, “I’ll pay for coffee, then we’re even.”

 

“Well you agreed to go out with me, so technically you’re already paying me back.”

 

“Is this a date?”

 

“I’m paying, so yes.” Harry guided him right, down another side-street.

 

“I--Fine.”

 

“Wonderful. My car is right around the corner here.”

 

“This is like, really nice.” Louis acknowledged the tea room’s golden accents and rustic look.

 

“My mate, Ed, sometimes plays here on the weekends.” Harry told him with a wave of his hand as Louis looked over the expansive menu.

 

“Is your mate a classical composer because I doubt he’s a Screamer in some metal band.” Louis approached the counter, “Can I get an Earl Grey with a… Blueberry scone.”

 

“Usual.” Harry simply said once Louis had finished ordering and the girl nodded and smiled.

 

“Do you come here a lot?” Louis asked as he paid.

 

“See that couch over there?” The girl pointed to a lumpy red one with a mahogany colored coffee table and he nodded, “Every weeknight, he’s there, doing school work, or reading.”

 

“So you’re not kidding when you say you’re a nerd.” Louis laughed and this kid was too cute, maybe he could keep him an extra month.

 

“I’m going to be a doctor in 3rd world countries.”

 

“Excuse me. Cough cough. Super double XL weenie.”

 

“Says the guy who is still deciding, I’m guessing.”

 

“No, I’m going to be an English teacher, excuse you.” Louis led over to a table in the corner and had a seat with Harry across from him.

 

“What ages?”

 

“Sixth Form or Primary.”

 

“Very nice. You don’t like little kids?”

 

“I’ve got 6 younger siblings and the 16 and 18 year old are the least annoying.” Louis saw the girl from the counter approaching with a tray of drinks and ceased conversation as she set them down along with his Scone and Harry’s muffin.

 

“Thanks Lila.” Harry smiled sweetly to her and she nodded, retreating to the customers waiting.

 

“I bet that a bran muffin.” His finger aimed at the baked good on a plate in front of Harry.

 

“It’s actually a whole-wheat banana nut, thank you very much.” He looked to Louis’ plate, “I bet you don’t even care what went into that.”

 

“No, you’re right, I don’t. It is food. That is the only thing that matters.” To prove his point, Louis took the scone and dipped it in his tea and took a large bite.

 

“You’re going to die at 38 of a heart attack if you eat sugary things like that all the time.” Harry took a bite of his own muffin.

 

“Really, I hardly eat, not on purpose, but, like… I am responsible for feeding myself unless my mate remembers to feed me. So… I end up with a stockpile entirely of juice pouches and fruits and poptarts. That is my life I’m not even shitting you, man. I’ll either snack on one of those things sometime during the day, or not at all, unless I am out somewhere and get very hungry, so I just get takeout or pizza.” Louis’ soliloquy got very wordy as he defended his level of unhealthy.

 

“That is severely unhealthy you should eat balanced meals every meal with small snacks in between.” Harry began his own lecture, “If your body doesn’t get the right nutrients it will not function properly and your grades will suffer.”

 

“Well they’re suffering like Jesus on the cross right now, mate. Doubt a bran muffin will fix that.” Louis made a show of taking a large sip of tea before paying attention to Harry for his answer.

 

“What time is it?” Harry took out his phone and it read 12:32 pm. “Why don’t you come back to my flat with me and I can make you a healthy lunch? This is hardly food.”

 

“Already inviting me back to your flat, Styles? Expecting to have your way with me?” Louis raised his eyebrows and having a way with him wouldn’t be bad at all.

 

“If by ‘my way’ you mean a good meal and possibly some nice conversation, then yes.” He began to down his tea and gather his things, already having finished his muffin.

 

“I don’t put out, but if this means a free meal, I’m all for it.” Louis did the same and he was just relaxing, it’s not like he was gonna get attached. Just a nice fuck and being spoiled for a month.

 

Harry’s flat was nice. Very nice. Like, everything was white and black walls and colorful accents. Louis had no doubt that his mother had a role in designing this or some interior decorator did.

 

“I designed this myself after I moved in 3 years ago and its my second favorite place to be.” Harry announced upon entering the kitchen with Louis in tow.

 

Louis would enjoy sleeping here. “Very nice! My dorm is literally band designed scarfs on the walls and a movie poster of The Heathers.” He was gonna be watching so much TV on the flatscreen.

 

“I like that movie. Winona Ryder is a queen in every movie she graces with her presence.” Harry threw his jacket on a chair and began getting out supplies, gesturing Louis to a breakfast bar stool.

 

“Edward Scissorhands is my favorite old movie, honestly.” Louis partially agreed, mostly for Johnny Depp’s role.

 

“A classic by any means.”

 

“What about you?” Louis was allowed to be semi-interested. He was a sociopath who didn’t feel things.

 

“Ehhhh… Girl, Interrupted if we are doing Winona films… Top Gun otherwise.” Harry had a plethora of ingredients: Potatoes, carrots, onion, cheese, cream, milk, and some things Louis didn’t even know what they were.

 

“What are you making?” Louis leaned over the counter to try and figure it out.

 

“Potato soup.” Harry got out a knife and cutting board, turning to the sink with a peeler to peel the potatoes.

 

“Thats gonna take like 2 hours. I could easily get subway instead.” Louis complained and he knows he shouldn't. This kid is making soup because it is cold outside and he wants to feed Louis a healthy meal.

 

“You didn’t have plans for the rest of the day, you said so in the car ride over here.” He pointed a potato directly at Louis, “Unless you were lying?”

 

“Honestly I don’t, but what are we gonna do when the soup is just cooking?” Louis looked around and then back to Harry and could think of 382 things to do that didn’t even involved clothes.

 

“Well it’s February, still cold. We could turn on the fire and sit in front of it and talk about our feelings.” Oh, Harry had a sarcastic side and really wanted to bundle Louis up in front of the fire and do anything but talk.

 

“It’s never too early to break open the wine cabinet and watch sickening Charlie Brown Valentines specials.” Louis hated himself for that.

 

Harry loved Louis in that very moment and decided to make Louis love him back. “I’ve got a wine closet behind that door over there.” He crooked his head to the door off the kitchen.

 

“Any preferences?” Louis walked past Harry without so much as a touch as he went to open the small room, filled with probably 200 different types of wine and liquor.

 

“Its early so something light. Pinot, if I’ve got one before 2006.” Harry was so posh it hurt Louis’ ego as he looked to the right where all the white wines were stocked and pulled out a whole column, trying to find the dates.

## “I’m sorry but you’re going to have to settle for Gewoorztrayminer, there are too many for me to find a Pinot before 2006.” Louis took the bottle to Harry for acceptance.

## “Gewürztraminer. Thats a very dry sipping wine. I’ve got a rack of Chardonnay... That would be better if we are just gonna drink it. Third from the door on the right.” Not to mention that particular bottle was only 6% alcohol and that certainly would not do.

 

“Ahhhh. Thank you, oh Monsieur, wine connoisseur.” Louis placed the Gerwinschnitzel back and pulled out the chardonnay, grabbing one with a black label.

 

“Did you mean to rhyme that or are you just a natural poet?” Harry asked as he began chopping the potatoes.

 

“I don’t rhyme too often in my poems. They’re not free-verse, more prose with feeling if I’m being honest.” Louis set it down and looked to the wall of cabinets, “Wine glasses?”

 

“You wouldn’t be okay with drinking it out of the bottle?” Harry teased and maybe it was a bit early to be a bit condescending but it never hurt anybody too badly. He used his knife to direct Louis’ eye to the cabinet above his Keurig.

 

“I would, but I was afraid you’d have a heart attack from shock of germination at work.” Louis got out two glasses and looked back to him, “Corkscrew?”

 

“Next to the stove.” Harry wanted to screw him.

 

“Would you like to taste the wine before I pour a whole glass, your highness?” Louis poured a bit and swirled it, breathing deeply to mock Harry.

 

“I’ve never done that.” Harry quickly defended with a lie, “...Here…”

 

“You’re painfully posh, Harold.”

 

“You’re painfully cute, Lewis.” No Harry did not say that out loud. Nope. He was flustered and dropping the potatoes into the pot.

 

“That is open for debate.” Louis dropped the cork and bent over to pick it up and possibly wiggled his butt a bit more than necessary.

 

Harry wanted to rip Louis’ pants off and eat him out right there. “I won 3rd in the national championships in Debate, thank you.”

 

“I’ve got 5 sisters.” Louis stood back up and poured them both full glasses, placing Harry’s next to the cutting board and Harry took it as soon as it was set down.

 

“Did I mention the championships were national?”

 

“Yes, you did. But I’ve got a complex that makes it hard for me to receive compliments so leave it.” Louis took a large swig of the wine and it was very good.

 

“Well I’ll be sure to remind you that you’re cute, quite a lot.” Harry gulped his own wine after that as he placed the pot on to boil. “What would you like to do while these cook? I’ve got video games, a tv, great stereo, a balcony… Anything interest you?”

 

“Where is the balcony and the stereo system?” Louis questioned as he poured more wine.

 

“Both in my bedroom.” Harry knew what was going to happen and he turned the soup on very low so they had about 2 hours until anything needed to be checked.

 

“Then lead the way, young Harold.”

 

“Just Harry.” He led the way, wine glass in one hand, Louis’ wrist in the other.

 

“Mr. Styles.” Louis decided on, “Do you have a phone hookup?”

 

“Yeah, you want to play your music?” Harry set his wine glass down and took Louis’ phone which was queued up with a playlist named tigers in the bedroom. It was fully composed of Arctic Monkeys and The 1975. “Interesting name.”

 

“It’s a quote from one of my favorite indie movies.” Louis prided as Arabella began playing magnificently through the system and he closed his eyes to take it in.

 

Harry watched Louis until he opened his eyes and began walking towards Louis, “Oh?”

 

“Yeah, it’s kinda a stupid plot but the actors make it great.” Louis got on his tiptoes, “But would I be too forward if I kissed you?”

 

Harry kissed him instead and it quickly progressed, going from soft touches and caresses to Louis opening his mouth and Harry pushing his tongue inside and Louis began sucking on it, moaning as he opened his legs, they both fell back onto the bed with a thud and “Ow!”s from both boys, who were only slightly bothered by the teeth clacking together and went right back to business as Louis straddled him, grabbing the collar of Harry’s shirt as he leaned deeper into the larger man

 

Harry was not going to be on the bottom and quickly flipped Louis over, “I’m on top.”

 

“Oh my god I was enjoying this whole thing and then you go and make cute puns.” Louis covered his face and groaned, making Harry’s semi grow.

 

“Would it be too forward if I turned you over and ate your asshole until you were crying?” Harry was not good at this and he was never this forward and he watched wayyyyy too much gay porn.

 

Louis’ heart stopped and he was ripping Harry’s shirt off, buttons flying everywhere. “I want you to be naked.”

 

Yep that would work just fine. Harry took Louis’ shirt off next, going back in for one last slobbery kiss before he kissed elsewhere, all the way down Louis’ chest, tongueing about his nipples, a squeak came from deep in Louis’ throat when he bit down the slightest bit befre moving to the next.

 

“Harry I know this is going very fast but can you move a bit faster?” Louis took his trousers and pants off, a hard on springing up and Harry had other plans as he licked up from the base of his dick to his neck and Louis would not be able to handle this kid. What had he gotten himself into? This boy would destroy himself before he even had the chance to try to destroy him.

 

“Grab that pillow there.” Harry directed as he rolled Louis over and he took the pillow by his head and threw it backwards, hitting Harry in the face.

 

Nevertheless, he lifted Louis’ hips up and it wasn’t like Louis wasn’t already shoving his ass into Harry’s face, but as soon as he began, he knew he wouldn’t be able to support himself. He was going to tease the hell out of Louis, kissing his tailbone gently and Louis groaned, “Please.”

 

Harry kissed a tiny but further down, then basically faire la bise-ed Louis’ ass cheeks, thumbs stroking over where he kissed and spreading them a bit, enough to get a view of Louis’ arsehole. He slowly inched his thumbs closer and when they touched Louis’ hole, he let out a gasp and Harry spread them apart fully.

 

“Patience, young grasshoppa.” He laughed as he licked over the tight ring of muscles.

 

“Harry please. No jokes while you’re licking me out. Just.. Get on with it..” Louis was grinding against the sheets while also shoving his arse in Harry’s face, reaching a hand underneath.

 

“Give me your hands.” Harry demanded and Louis complied, hands clasped behind his back. “Alright one sec.”

 

Louis whimpered at the lack of touch as he watched Harry go into his closet and come back with a tie. “Oh my god.” He was at a loss for words, extremely turned on and suddenly ready to scream daddy and fall apart around Harry’s dick.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry I should…” Harry went back into nice mode and began to walk back into the closet.

 

“Tie me up and fuck me alright dear god.” Louis stopped him and Harry turned around, heading back to Louis’ ass where the main event was taking place.

 

“I’m just gonna tie your hands so you can’t touch.” Harry was an idiot. This was wayyy too much he should have checked with Louis before even trying anything and Sex by The 1975 was playing in the background as he just breathed out and tied the hideous orange tie around Louis’ wrists, “Is that too tight?”

 

“Get your tongue in my ass, please, Harry.” Louis growled and Harry felt so bad he was teasing and everything, debating if he should just untie Louis and do his job. “Harry please. I’m--”

 

Harry dipped his tongue in between Louis’ cheeks and licked a stripe over the puckered hole which was clenched as he began to wet his tongue excessively to slowly push in and Louis literally whimpered like a puppy. He pulled back, “Well now then, what was that?”

 

“The soup will burn, please, Harr-” And he was cut off by Harry plunging his tongue inside of him and it turned into, “Sweet jesus!” Harry was tongue fucking him deep and then he added a finger and Louis responded with, “Please fuck me.” He continued his work, hurrying to open him up with his fingers and tongue, eliciting moans and gasps and cries from Louis as he pulled on the satin tie around his wrists when he got three fingers and was licking around the rim.

 

He pulled back once he was satisfied that Louis was ready for him. “What are you--” Louis stopped when he saw Harry pulling lube and a condom out of his bedside drawer, “Hurry.”

 

“Don’t worry, love. I’m going to take good care of you.” He began to untie Louis’ wrists, “Can you turn around for me, dear?” He did as Harry asked and looked so spent, eyes watering, breathing heavy, knees up, forearms up at a 90 degree from his elbows, wrists limp. “God.”

 

“Don’t stop.” Louis whispered and Harry slid the condom on quickly, lathering lube onto his fingers, slipping them inside Louis for good measure, then onto his dick. He placed his hands on either side of Louis’ chest, leaning above him, he lurched into a kiss, it was soft and eager, only breaking for Harry to look at Louis as he pressed deeply inside of him.

 

“You alright?” He asked as Louis’ face contorted into a grimace, eyes closed. “Lou?”

 

“Second.” Louis heaved in and out for a few moments, “Alright, slow.”

 

“Are you a virgin?” Harry questioned when he realized Louis was uncomfortable.

 

“Hell no!” He exclaimed, “Just been around a year.”

 

“Ah, alright.” Harry vacated the awkward moment with a deep thrust.

 

“GOD!” Louis was enthusiastic and Harry smirked to himself, watching this boy’s face, as he was so vulnerable. He was so tough in public but here, after only knowing Harry for 3 days, he’s falling apart with each pelvic motion or sweet touch, like he lived off this.

 

Harry was making Louis almost cry with pleasure and he had never been this vocal or vulnerable around any of his sugar daddies. Although all the other guys wanted was sex and to ‘take care of him’ which was just buying him whatever he wanted and to be like a king to the boy. Nobody besides Zayn and… Zayn. Zayn was the only one besides his family who ever cared about Louis in such a loving way, making sure he is actually okay, not just put together… Nope nooopeeeeee he wasn’t thinking about his family while his ass was being destroyed.

 

R U Mine blared as Louis’ eyes rolled back into his head and Harry thrusted 3 more times, making Louis come, and he worked him through his orgasm, coming into the condom himself. It wasn’t until Harry was sufficiently finished but still inside of Louis, that they looked dead into each other’s eyes and Louis couldn’t handle the intensity, screaming out, “The soup!!!”

 

“I turned it on low, an hour left, no worries.” Harry slid out and tied the condom once he had pulled it off, throwing it into the trash by his nightstand.

 

“Will you cuddle me?” Louis frown and was pliant and soft like a small puppy and Harry couldn’t resist.

 

“I’ll cuddle the fuck out of you while you tell me everything about you.” Louis was surprised that somebody wanted to hear about his life, instead of talk about their own.

 

Louis told him everything and he never… This wasn’t something he did. He realized this about 10 minutes into his life story. “...I’m just always fascinated by things like that and...Yeah..”

 

“Why did you stop?” Harry asked into Louis’ hair.

 

“I was rambling.” Louis hated himself and he was not like this. “I actually need to go.”

 

“Oh, are you sure? The soup isn’t even done.” Harry asked as Louis began to gather his clothes and put them on.

 

“I remembered I promise Zayn we would hangout after I got back from shopping.” Louis made the lame excuse as he yanked up his skinny jeans and got into his vans, shoving his feet inside the heel of each shoe. “I’m sorry I just got so wrapped up in everything.”

 

Yeah, like my dick, Harry thought. “Can I have your number? Never got it.” He was still naked under the sheet and just watching Louis run around the room making sure he’s got everything.

 

“Uh, yeah.” Louis took Harry’s phone from the bedside table, no passcode, he just slid it across and typed in his phone number as the end of 12 played. He set Harry’s phone back down and unhooked his own from the stereo system, “Thank you…” He led off with that and vanished out of the room, out the front door and back to his dorm to avoid Harry at all costs.

 

Harry fell back onto his pillow, breathing out and turning to yell into said pillow for about 5 minutes, ranging his explicits from how idiotic he was to seduce Louis, to how fucking fast he moved and was way too forward. By the end, he was light-headed and his soup had burned.

 

Louis ran/walked almost the whole way back to his dorm, which was actually about 5 kilometers away but he wasn’t an olympiad and ended up stopping about halfway to catch his breath and compile his thoughts on a street bench. He blamed himself for trying to seduce and use the nice guy, but he blamed Harry for seducing him.

 

Zayn jumped when Louis slammed the door to his room and knew he had to go talk to his friend but he needed to finish the details of this painting. He ended up at Louis’ door a minute later.

 

He rapped on the door with his knuckles, “Lou?”

 

“Yes?” Louis called from inside, a bit too quiet for Zayn to stay outside for.

 

“Do you mind if I come in?” he was already checking the door-handle and it was, in fact, locked. Using his superior spy skills, he reached above the door where the extra key was, sliding it into the lock as Louis kept silent. When he had successfully unlocked it and cracked it so a thin line of brightness shone from the hallway light, replacing the key, Zayn slipped inside and closed it softly behind him, turning to see his best friend, small as an acorn, curled up in the corner of his bed, bloodshot eyes staring deadly at the window sill on the far wall. His eyes weren't directed high enough to stare out the window at nothing but an overcast sky, 50 shades of ugly.

 

Louis didn’t utter a noise but a sniffle, most likely due to the cold weather, Zayn decided, fully aware of the tears brimming the older’s eyes, also aware that his confident asshole of a mate didn’t like crying and despised anybody who acknowledged his watery eyes as crying.

 

“What the fuck happened?” Blunt and to the point, he got right to the point.

 

“We fucked and then cuddled then i began talking and I told him things I’ve only ever told you, shit like that one time in grade 8 where I fell down trying to dance ballet, causing my left wrist to break and why my writing is so skewed, because I was left-handed, then became right-handed. Stupid fucking twatting little shitty moments in my life that don’t matter to anybody but me.” Louis breathed as he spoke, clearing his raspy voice with every syllable. “I don’t do that.”

 

Zayn sat on the bed and reached out his hand to rub Louis’ shoulder, “Why did you tell him about those stupid twatting little shity moments?”

 

“I don’t even know.” Louis un-balled a bit, stretching the one leg, resting both of his crossed arms on the other knee. “I haven't had sex in… God, I forget…No.. it was last February. But we did it out of the blue and then, like, he asked me to tell him about my life, everything about me. I guess I was taken off guard and just… poured out everything. Save for the February tradition and school... I… I don’t think I could tell anybody about that… I just talked about my childhood, my major, my theories about the universe… You. I told him about you and your platonic thing with Liam that you want to be something but he’s straighter than a ruler.”

 

“I don’t wan-” Zayn began to protest, only to be cut off by a sobbing laugh.

 

“You do. Every time we go clubbing, you want to go there, and I get in and you always can, but stay outside.” Louis chortled, mostly to avoid more tears, but out of a joking attitude as well.

 

“Okay. Fine. Thats true. But… Why do you think you let your guard down for a minute? Did you get hurt when you did?”

 

“No, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be hurt. Honestly, man I rambled like an idiot. Wouldn’t be surprised if he never tried to contact me again...Fuck me I’m so conflicted about this and it should be easy. He invited me over for lunch, aka sex, we had the said intercourse, and cuddled for a tiny bit when he asked me to tell him about my life. I obliged, then prompty left after realizing my mistake. It was enjoyable and I’ll be continuing on with my life as if nothing ever happened. Sex is sex and no relationship was initiated. He doesnt even know my dorm number, just this building.” Louis had a habit of talking a lot.

 

“So you don’t want to see him again? Just avoid him if you ever see him?”

 

“Sounds like an ace plan.” The older man agreed.

 

“Would you like to see my new painting? It’s half done but I quite like it.” Zayn changed the topic, knowing Louis was done with the subject, possibly for good.

 

“I’d love to.” Following Zayn out of the room and into his, Louis was smacked across the face with the scent of acrylic paint, sweeping around him in a tornado of pungent smells.

 

“Did you buy new paints?” He pulled his jumper over his button nose, squinting his eyes.

 

“Yeah, also a few treated canvases I need to stretch.”

 

“Can you not smell the coma-inducing chemicals?”

 

“Not as much as when I first opened them up, had to run the fan and crack the window.” He side-stepped through the maze of paintings leaned against practically every upright surface, pulling his latest work off the easel in the corner where the smell was originated from. “Here it is.”

 

It was a peculiar piece. Outlines of shapes, almost, he guessed. There was a clearly defined woman, half of her hair and a shaded eye, then blank beige, scrolling right to a man’s head and

the shading of his neck, with a white shirt, but the space in between the two was blank. It was a perspective piece, the mind having to fill in the emptiness that was obviously the couple kissing. “Where did you get the idea for this one?” Louis studied the brush strokes even outlining the faces.

 

“I was messing with some of my images in my portfolio and accidentally spilled some soup on it, and it was just strange and I took a picture to be scanned and enlarged.” He pointed to the woman’s hair, “I’ve got some work to do here, but its a nice piece. Might do a series of the same absent space theme.”

 

“I love it!” He was careful not to kick the black and white smears of paint that apparently was about to be shipped to the buyer, who paid 700$, advancing closer to get a good look.

 

“Thanks, man. We going clubbing again tonight? Need to find you a sugar daddy for Valentines Day.” Setting the piece down, the scrawny man, who was wearing boxers and a leather jacket--no shirt, just the jacket--motioned for Louis to go out of the room first, and he followed as Louis replied.

 

“Might take Liam up on his offer of buying me a giant chocolate bar. I’m out of energy and need to study for my American Literature class. We have a socratic circle on Thursday.” Louis shrugged and it appeared as the whole debacle that took place about 10 minutes ago, never even happened.

 

Zayn knew that Louis had a habit of doing that and he knew that he kept everything filed away carefully in his complex mind, just masked it. “I’m glad. Valentines day is lonely for me, too. I’m free for any seuxal frustrations you may have, though.” A true friend. Offering sexual favours for a Valentines day without the other friend getting fucked by some rich asshole.

 

“Might cash that in sooner than later. Arse kinda hurts now, but maybe later?” He was so non-chalant and Zayn glared. “He was a fuck, Zayn.”

 

“I know. I’ll even buy you dinner.”

 

*******************************************************

 

“Thanks for this.” Louis told Zayn as he was pulling the sheets up to cuddle after some much needed friendly fucking a few nights later.

 

“Anytime. Was getting a bit frustrated myself. Nice load off.” He stopped, laid on his back, and pinched the bidge of his nose, “I need about 30 minutes to recover from my own awful pun.”

 

“Do you ever think about the oxford comma?”

 

Louis must have lost his mind, “‘Excuse me?”

 

“Like, there was this poster on Harry’s wall, said something about ‘the only people who can judge me, are me, myself and I.’ It didn’t have the oxford comma and it just… Looked weird. Like, if you say you’re going to pick up scones, coffee, and tea, you dont say, ‘I’m going to pick up scones, coffee and tea.’ Like you’re talking to somebody named Coffee And Tea.” He turned on his side to look at the befuddled man staring at the ceilng, wondering how the fuck he became best friends with a lunatic. “Don’t you get annoyed by that?”

 

“Considering I am, in fact, an ART major, no, I don’t get annoyed by a grammar choice.” He sat up with a huff, sheets falling off his tattoo-clad torso. “I’d love to stay for a round two, but I have a study date at 10.”

 

“You’ve got an hour.” Louis complained.

 

“You smell of sex, as do I, and I know that Josh and Niall and Perrie would not be pleased of the smell.” Stripping the covers, he pulled on some pants that were thrown onto the floor and yanked them on, “Also, I’d like you to observe the fact that I’m not flashing my naked bum around the flat.”

 

“You just fucked my naked bum, I don’t think you care.” He harumphed anyways, “Isn’t Niall the one you were into? From the cafe near here?”

 

“Yeah, and Josh is his boyfriend. SO… I’ll actually be studying, we’ve all got the same Psych 101.” With that, Zayn was gone to the shower and Louis decided to use their other dorm-mate’s bathroom. He wouldn’t mind. He was gone.

 

A half hour later, Louis was showered and smelled of mangoes and sunshine. Zayn smelled like the ocean and Oldspice, for those interested. “Can I come with you?” He asked, not wanting to be alone with his thoughts tonight, and while socialization wasn’t much better, he took Psych 101 last year, so getting to inform everyone of things his professor added as tidbits… It would be nice.

 

“We are going to be a the library all night, Lou.”

 

“I can help you guys.”

 

After a moment of thought, Zayn made a miniscule nod, “We have to pick up snacks on the way.”

 

“It’s a study session not a party…?”

 

“Nobody has eaten and I volunteered over the group chat to bring something light, the rest are bringing shit, too.”

 

The library was actually one of three on campus, only one open all night, and allowed food, so thats where everyone met up, each with a tesco bag of food or drinks. Niall and Perrie ere waiting outside for Zayn and Louis, but there was no sight of the aforementioned Josh. Zayn was about to open his mouth, eyes scrunched in confusion, when Perrie gave a look and he turned it into a gargantuan smile.

 

“Hey, guys. I believe you remember Louis. Louis, Perrie and Niall.” The introductions were hasty with short smiles and gestures and waves, all leading into the mega-sized library, a branch off to the right with lots of couches and tables. Perrie led the way there, the only girl, but most authoritative.

 

When they had all sat down at a table with large and comfy chairs, Niall cracked open his book and began, “Alright chapter 17 is confusing to me. The brain, really, as a whole is.”

 

Louis began to look over Zayn’s book and began explaining everything to the small group in betweeen bits of muffins and biscuits.

 

Harry was already comfortable with his own copy of Lolita, sitting in his corner of the library, when he heard that voice. Louis’ voice. The man whose voice was telling him 3 days ago that he “...need(ed) to go, and um, bye.” He pulled out his phone, tapping on the contacts icon to show his long list of people he didn’t care much about except a few, including Louis. His name was saved as ‘Loui’ probably a typo but Harry kinda liked it so he kept it.

 

**Hey, its Harry :)**

 

A moment later he heard a ding and looked around the corner to see Louis look at his phone, face freeze, and look to the man he remembered as Zayn from the club. Zayn took the phone and typed a reply as Louis continued talking to the girl with lavender hair and the bleach blonde boy next to her.

 

_Hey, what’s up? :)_

 

The man took his phone back and looked at what “he” had sent Harry. He frowned and Zayn just nodded, an encouraging smile. Harry himself was very confused… Did he not want to talk?

 

**Just reading… You?**

 

The ding again and Louis replied himself this time.

 

_Study group… Whatcha reading?_

 

Louis was shaking as he typed a reply and hit send. He was having a conversation with the last guy in the world. But Zayn said that 1, a guy who isn’t into you doesnt text you the same day as your last hookup. And 2, Harry was a nice guy… Louis’ mind was in a whirlwind with his emotions and he honestly felt so strange. Like, he.... fuck this was so confsing for even himself to process. He decided to go over the facts: 1.) He needed somebody nice. Check. 2.) He needed somebody who would take care of him. Check. 3.) He didn’t want to get hurt. X.

 

The only relationships he had ever had were his valentine flings, never a steady relationship.

 

**_Lolita… Nice read, actually. What are you studying in said study group?_ **

 

Louis was so confused and he wasn’t sure his brain was working when he sent the next text.He just remembered that Harry said he would oftern read at night in the library.

 

_Psych… Are you in the library?_

 

**Um… yes?**

 

Harry had to play this off like he wasn’t about 30 metres from Louis, watching him.

 

 _I am too! Which one_?

 

**Um… South campus?**

 

_Are you the one sitting with his head in his phone, blanket covering the rest of you?_

 

At this, Harry looked up and pretended to act like he was confused and then saw Louis’ bright blue eyes, with purple moons underneath, even from far away, Harry could tell that Louis was tired. His face looked a bit red, body swallowed up in a gray sweater with loose maroon sweatpants, some sports team printed along the leg. Neither of them made a motion to saw hi, just kinda stared.

 

~~That would be me. Are you the one with the face of an angel~~

Harry wasn’t going to send that one.

 

**Yes. Are you the one with the group of models?**

 

The people surrounding Louis were mere humans when compared to his natural beauty. The scruff on his chin was adorable, making him look so sophisticated. His impeccable bone structure, and the was he was cuddled up in his giant clothes, sweater paws as he thumbed away while looking up and down from Harry to his phone.

 

_Well fancy meeting you here!_

 

**Yes, very strange. As if… We go to the same school!**

 

_Alright kid, no sarcasm if it’s not from me._

 

**Then what can I contribute to the conversation?**

 

_sexual tension_

 

Harry widened his eyes at this.

 

**Oh really now?**

 

_Yes._

 

**I’m not the only one looking ravishing. You’re pretty damn ravishable in that sweater.**

 

What the hell was he doing? What is this? Why doesn’t he ask Louis to come over and talk? He doesn’t want a sexual relationship first. Harry wants the stories of his childhood and domestic love.

 

_Imagine what I would look like without it on… Or only wearing it._

 

A not-so-subtle cough came from across the room and once Harry looked that way, Louis leaned back in his seat, stretching just enough to reveal a sliver of his torso.

 

**We are both in a library. Please do not make me leave with a book over my crotch.**

 

_Or my ass instead of the book._

 

**Outside in 2 minutes.**

 

Harry briskly got up, gathering his blanket and folding it, placing it back in the basket where he got it. The librarian said a quiet goodbye as he walked out the automatic sliding doors into the tundra of snow and cold. His car was in the parking garage so he was debating whether r not to wait for Louis and go get it after he shows up, or run and get it so Louis wont be so cold. He decided the latter and began running to the adjoined concrete tower of vehicles.

 

Louis was standing out in the cold when Harry pulled up and rolled down the window, “Hello, love.”

 

“It’s fucking freezing out here.” He proceeded to try to open the door but Harry had locked the doors. “Let me in.”

 

“Would you like to be warm and fucking?” Harry smirked and laughed at his own joke as he unlocked the car and let Louis get in. “The controls for the seat warmers are right there if you would like your buns toasted.”

 

“Please just drive either to your house or a deserted parking lot, you twat.” Louis snapped, a smile appearing on his face anyways.

 

“Why, whatever do you mean?” Harry gasped in false shock, whipping his hand to his chest with an appalled expression.

 

“You did tell me to go outside so we could go to your house to fuck, right?” Louis stammered, very confused as the car made a turn onto the main road, clinquant crystals of snow began to fall lightly onto the windshield.

 

Harry didn’t say a thing until the silence became awkward and he felt guilty for the prolonged reply, “Yes, yes I did.”

 

Louis wasn’t for sure, but he thought he saw the odometer increase and the snowflakes swish by the car faster and the silence was filled with sexual tension and frustration as they headed to Harry’s.

 

“Do you want to stay the night?” Harry blurted after he had pulled out and tied the condom, but it was in a heavy voice, and wasn’t as much of a blurt than as a hurried whisper but he considred it blurting. Still wavering over Louis, it was almost a command.

 

Louis didn’t answer right away, coming down from his orgasm. He just breather deeply and looked at Harry, no need for words, mostly becasue he wasn’t too confident they would come out as words, so much as baby babble.

 

His nod was enough to signify that, yes, he would like to spend the night, but no, he did not want to get attatched. The words going through his mind screamed, “RUN!” but fatigue took over triumphantly as Harry showed his white teeth and dimples.

 

As Louis got to know the younger boy, he became closer to Harry, on the 10th, Harry asked if he wanted a Valentine’s Day gift and he wanted to say no, but he said, “If you want to, I’ll accept it, but it’s not necessary.” The same rehearsed words flowed off his tongue into the river of deceit that rose above the banks with every man he’s used those words on.

 

Harry, on the other hand, knew more than Louis had told him. He was observant and astute, quick to catch onto the undertones of angst spiraled into those words that he uttered without emotion. He knew that Louis was trying to use him, and not let him into the no-doubt labyrinth of a mentality that the man kept behind his vault of masked emotions.

 

But the one thing that neither of the boys knew about each other was the domestic potential that was displayed with each shrug and nod. After sex, if it was not at night, a few minutes of cuddling, then Harry would often kiss Louis on the cheek and get up to make a snack or the next meal. Louis would lay there, contemplating the universe as he told himself that in a few weeks, this will be over and he will be back to being a shut-in, slaving over papers and his writing.

 

On Valentines day, the truth came in the right and wrong ways.

 

“Good evening.” Harry greeted Louis with a kiss so soft and gentle that it wouldn’t pop a bubble with the touch. He was wearing the one of the 3 pairs of skinny jeans he owned, the fucking hipster, along with a black button-up underneath a heathered black, white, and gray sweater, topped off with a velvet green trench-coat and these sparkly black boots that make Louis either swoon or slightly sick. Sick. Definitely sick.

 

“Hey there.” Louis’ words were almost as soft as the kiss but they had undertones of deceit that only a few could catch.

 

Harry was one of them, and he knew this was going to end, but it didn’t matter, not to him. He knew that Louis would make the right choice and it would all work out, remembering the words his mother told him: ‘If it’s meant to be, it will be, but you can’t make people love and you can’t camp out in their thoughts, trying to make something happen, that won’t even occur.’

 

“Are you ready?” Harry’s eyes scanned Louis’ outfit: Burgundy sweater, black jeans, black coat, and burgundy shoes. The theme reminded him of wine at a funeral.

 

“Yep!” His lips thrust out a puff of air as he popped the P.

 

“Well, let us depart into the night, dear.” Really and honestly, Harry had a strange language; tones of shakespeare mixed into the already posh Cheshire accent that adorned his words.

 

“Zayn, I’m leaving!” Louis bellowed to the no-doubt sleeping artist as he slammed the door shut quickly, “Alright, lets go.”

 

There wasn’t any mention of how Louis’ sweater made his eyes appear the color of the noontime shining sky, or how Harry’s shoes made it appear as he was floating on a cloud as he walked. Certainly none of that, no matter what the two were thinking in their minds. This was a February fling, nothing more, and absolutely nothing less.

 

Harry had booked a table on the heated patio of some hipster restaurant that served things like artisan cheese platters and wheatgrass rice pilaf. Louis was about to protest when he saw the menu prices, too expensive for him. Then he remembered who he was with, and decided that the grass-fed cows that had been sacrificed for the 30 quid 8 ounce fillet he was about to order would condone his choice of the 2nd most expensive thing on the menu, second to only the 10 ounce fillet.

 

“So, how were your classes today?” Harry tried to make easy conversation after they had both studied their menus for a minute or two.

 

“Well the only one I had today was actually my professor teaching us how to practice safe sex and giving statistics about valentines day accidents and how much chocolate would be an unsafe amount. About 10 kilos is you were wondering.” Louis took a sip of the water the waiter had brought with their menus, “Also she handed everyone condoms.”

 

“Sounds like a great class.” Harry struggled to keep from laughing, a wide smile expressed on his mug, dimples on full display.

 

“She used diagrams and brought out a dildo to remind us how to put a condom on. Then told us it was raspberry flavored and licked it.”

 

“I’m sure she was just trying to prevent disease spread and pregnancies.”

 

“She’s 60 years old, Harry.” Louis deadpanned when he placed down his menu, deciding on the 8 ounce fillet and mash with salad.

 

Harry couldn't keep in the laughter and chortled as the waiter came back to take their orders.

 

The dinner was light conversation and then once it was over, Harry helped Louis into his coat, and then into his car, then out of his car, into his own home, and out of his clothes, into bed, and then to bring him to climax. Harry was being very helpful. Dinner and a fuck.

 

Very classy in Louis’ opinion. As well as lovely. So lovely that afterwards, once they were both in the shower, he contemplated 4 things:

 

  1. If Harry had cared for him this much… why should he break off whatever they had?

  2. Was their relationship more FWBs or was Harry just holding back.

  3. or was it Louis that was holding back?

  4. How exactly would he explain to Harry they he wanted to maybe have a bit more than just some casual relationship?




 

Those 4 things haunted his mind and rapped on the metaphorical window in his brain, even as Harry pulled him close and told him, “I had a nice Valentines day.”

 

Maybe this was some subspace thing from continuous fucking and shit, but Louis was very floaty and had a large crisis involving his inability to admit his feelings and his failure to trust people. Harry was really affecting his whole ‘I-don't-have-feelings-and-hate-everyone’ attitude.

 

So maybe he wasn’t going to be fixed because of some boy, and trust would take a while, but maybe one day he wouldn’t feel guilty when he said, “Me too. Can’t wait to go out again with you.” And maybe Harry would be fine with waiting, but he needed time to re-evaluate without a love interest present, so he said, “Yeah, same.” instead.

 

The conversation was a hard one to have, but It wasn’t impossible when Louis said those words, “Can we have a serious conversation?”

 

Harry muted the TV and turned to Louis on the couch. “My attention is yours.” And he knew what was coming. It was going to happen and he knew it. He didn’t want it to end, but from the first night he met Louis, and he faked a cold, he knew he was going to be used and he let it happen because maybe he was a masochist. But maybe he knew Louis was hurt and he had a compulsion to try to fix people.

 

“I’m having trouble with some thoughts here.” Louis paused as he looked for the right words, “First of all… What are we?”

 

“Well I thought we were dating or whatever but it’s more Friends with benefits, I think.” Harry breathed and closed his own eyes before looking into Louis’ for his reply.

 

“I like what we have. But what if we were dating instead of that?” Louis knew this was confusing but he was working it out as he pulled the words out of his ass.

 

“I’d be fine with it. Just means I can buy you more things and we kiss more, i guess domestic things.” This was a turn Harry didn’t expect.

 

“I need some time before that happens. But I want that.”

 

“You want a break?”

 

“Kind of. Like… I need to think about some things and figure out my head and it involves trust and all this bullshit and I want to trust you with myself and all that… But I can’t… Yet.”

 

“So you want to quit seeing each other and then once you’ve gotten all your ducks in a row, we actually date?” This surprised Harry, and he was sad about not being able to see Louis for a while because like any new relationship, he liked Louis’ company frequently. Although, the fact that it wouldn’t be permanent was fantastic.

 

“Yeah. Like, I can’t be friends even because I’d either jump your bones or fuck it up. But that doesn’t mean we are like… Exes? Just like friends that have too much going on to hangout. So like, if we see each other, politely say hi and all that bull… But I… God this is confusing you, isn’t it?” Harry’s face was twisted into a strange expression and Louis was confused himself.

 

“No, like, I understand. Everyone has troubles and some just need to take a step back.” He adjusted his feet, as they were falling asleep.

 

“So you understand?”

 

“A break, that would end when you decide whether or not to pursue a relationship with me?”

 

“Would you want that?”

 

“The relationship or the break?”

 

“The relationship after the break. I need the break and thats kinda non-negotiable for myself. I’ll take that whether you want the relationship after or not. And I’d like a relationship right now, like this instant. But I’ve been thinking about this since 3 nights ago, and I can’t have a healthy relationship that would be mutualistic.”

 

“Yeah, I know. You don’t think I can fix you, I know I can’t. I could be a comforting force, but that’s not going to fix your problems. You need to do that.”

 

“Well, I don’t need fixing. Well, not al of me. Just the trust gears and all that shit…”

 

“Do you mind telling me exactly what caused all of this? Like from the beginning? You don’t have to but I would like to know.”

 

“Okay basically the condensed version goes like this: I had a lot of shit happen, like bullied… And I started this thing where every valentines day, I would find a guy who would--A sugar daddy. Beginning of February to the end. I’d get sex, gifts, and comfort. All month. And that wouldn’t last and I knew it. I knew I would end it on February 28th, or March 1st.So I’ve done that for like the past 6 years and not really had a real relationship in that time, you know? So like, I dunno, I’m fucked up and I hope you’re okay with that.” Louis got out the explanation in about 10 seconds and one breath.

 

“Well, considering that I haven’t kicked you out of my flat, pretty sure I’m okay with it.” He paused and looked up, pondering something, “Yep. I’m okay with it.”

 

“You’re not concerned by the fact that I had 6 sugar daddies and a lot of fucks? I’m clean, but still. Like, I used a lot of guys, Harry. A lot of guys.” Louis was insistent that he was, in fact, a bad person.

 

“Louis, I could honestly care less about your past. Its happened and you can’t change it. I used to think I only like girls and that Neil Patrick Harris was actually Barney Stinson, but I’ve grown and learned. God, that was a stupid example. I’m okay with your past because it’s made you who you are. And I like who you are.”

 

“Okay. So after I leave today, I won’t be contacting you for a month, or more. I don’t know. I’ve gotta just figure this shit out. Alone. Without you, somebody who I want to trust but cant, and I want to commit, but don’t think I can, just yet. Mentally, anyways.”

 

They finished watching TV and cuddling in silence, had a last good fuck, then Louis was gone.

 

 

Louis had decided 3 things within 4 weeks of solitude, not even talking to Zayn, just uttering a few words to people he bumped into during lectures and the baristas at the local coffee shop.

 

1.He had problems trusting because he had never established a relationship based on trust.

2.Google had some wonderful strategies for coping with those, but he had a therapist and was learning about himself and his therapist had suggested that he work towards a healthy relationship as if it were a friendship

3.To be able to function in a relationship, he would need to work with Harry, and just establish those baseline needs.

 

 

The unexpected text from Louis was simply put as Harry read it:

 

_Come over and fuck my brains out I’m ready for a relationship_

 

 

 

 

Harry stared at the phone and decided himself…. He wasn’t going to let Louis back in after all that shit. He wanted to. Because he likes the guy a lot and maybe he wants to fix him. Maybe. But no. He wasn’t going to open his arms for Louis to run back to him.

 

~~**I’m sorry… Louis, I don’t want to play a game with you and we both know thats what thi** ~~

 

He dialed Louis’ number, waiting for him to pick up.

 

“Hey!” Louis voice was high and sounded like honey tastes.

 

“Louis, I’m an arse for doing this over text but after a month of silence you want to go right back into a relationship? Shouldn’t we have dinner first, or maybe actually talk before we get to the fucking?” Harry was pained with the words but he was almost annoyed.

 

“We talked a month ago and you said--”

 

“I know. I know. But, I’ve had a month to think too, and maybe I was being too nice when I agreed, but Louis. I’ve got a life and I can’t just stop everything for you. And what if this were to happen again? Like, you need to be sorted and again? Then we go another month in silent abandonment?”

 

“Harry it’s not--”

 

“I’m being simple here. I don’t think I could pursue a relationship with you at this point in time, or in the near future, Louis. Because you’re entitled. There. I said it. It’s not that I’m not. I’m spoiled, too. But you think the world revolves around you and everyone will go with everything you do or say because you shook your arse and batted your eyelashes.” Harry wasn’t upset, he was fuming.

 

“Excuse me I am not like--”

 

“Let me say this, then you can defend yourself. I like you, I do. You’re cute and you’re sweet, under all that shit. You’re a good person and I know it. But obviously you haven’t sorted your problems in a month. I’m not going to be some on and off boyfriend because you’re working on your life again. Take a year or two, Louis. Find somebody who will take you and let you run and spring back, but I don’t want to be in a rubber band relationship. I care about you. I do. But we can’t be friends or together because I’m not going to be able to handle your elastic tendencies, Lou. You do understand, right?”

 

“Yes, Harry, I understand. But I’m working on myself. I am. And I’m going to be good! I’m working on it and I want you.” Louis sounded like he was about to cry and Harry couldn’t take it.

 

He hated it when people cried. “I’m the spoiled kid and you’re the brat. Unbelievable. Do your thing, Louis. Grow up and stop using people like they’re robots, set to do your bidding.” He hung up and laid back on his couch.

 

 

 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> please dont get mad at me i know it's horrible.


End file.
